The Angry Birds Movie Read online

  “Oh wow, it’s him,” Red whispered in awe. Chuck and Bomb could only stare at the majestic bird, their beaks hanging open.

  Mighty Eagle looked a bit older and rounder than Red had expected. But Red still couldn’t believe this legend—his hero—was standing right in front of him! Red’s awe quickly turned to horror when Mighty Eagle began to relieve himself in the Lake of Wisdom. Chuck and Bomb looked sick when they realized that the water they had been drinking and swimming in was basically Mighty Eagle’s toilet! Bomb started to cry, and Chuck began to gag.

  “Well,” said Red. “It’s not so much the Lake of Wisdom as the Lake of Whiz.”

  Mighty Eagle finished relieving himself and then headed back into his cave. Red, Chuck, and Bomb did not know what to do next. Before they could make a plan, however, Mighty Eagle called back to them over his shoulder.

  “Did you come here just to look at me, or did you have something to say?” he asked.

  Red, Chuck, and Bomb were shocked—Mighty Eagle had seen them!

  The three birds came out from behind their rock and stood before Mighty Eagle. They all shook a little, nervous about what would happen next.

  “You have passed the first test,” said Mighty Eagle. “You have found me. Behold! Gaze upon . . . MIGHTY EAGLE! I see all and know all!” He paused for a second.

  “What are your names?”

  “If you know all, why don’t you know who we are?” asked Chuck. Red jabbed him in the side for asking Mighty Eagle such a silly question.

  “It’s a test of your honesty. I know very well who you are,” continued Mighty Eagle. “You are lost souls who have come here seeking wisdom!”

  “Can we have some?” asked Chuck eagerly.

  “Wisdom is not something that is given. It is something that is attained.”

  Bomb looked disappointed. “Oh, okay. Well, good-bye then!”

  Mighty Eagle held up a wing. “Will I help you attain wisdom? Yes, that I will do!”

  Red stepped forward, and said, “That’s great news. By the way, I’m Red, this is Bomb, and this is Chuck. The reason we climbed your mountain is that we want to know—”

  Mighty Eagle cut Red off. “Follow me, and prepare to have your minds blown!” he said, before he turned and walked back into his cave.

  Red, Chuck, and Bomb shrugged their shoulders and followed the massive bird inside.

  After walking down a long, dark tunnel, the four birds emerged into Mighty Eagle’s main room. It was large but a little cluttered. Every inch of space on the cave walls was covered with trophies, awards, certificates, and framed photos and newspaper articles featuring Mighty Eagle in his prime. There were a few pieces of ratty, broken furniture here and there. The place looked like it needed a good cleaning.

  Mighty Eagle spread his wings and exclaimed, “Welcome to the Hall of Heroism!”

  “Well, it’s really amazing to meet you,” said Red. “I have your poster up in my nest—”

  “You might want to shield your eyes from the sparkle of all my trophies!” Mighty Eagle interrupted. “How many do I have? I have no idea. Countless!” He paused a second to think. “Okay, thirteen.” He sat down in a big chair and opened a can of sardines to snack on. Red, Chuck, and Bomb sat on the sofa across from him.

  Red decided to get down to business. “So, anyway, the other day, these pigs showed up out of nowhere, and we’re concerned that—”

  “Would you like to hear my theme song?” asked Mighty Eagle, interrupting Red for the third time. He grabbed a guitar and began singing.

  “Mighty, Mighty Eagle, soaring free, defender of our homes and liberty! Bravery, humility, and honesty! You must have grown up singing this song in school, yes?” he asked eagerly.

  Red played along in the hopes that he could get back to the subject at hand. “Uhhh . . . yeah. Yes, we did.”

  Mighty Eagle tossed the guitar aside and stood up. It looked like he was getting ready to leave the room, so Red tried to steer the conversation back to the pigs. It was becoming very clear to all three birds that Mighty Eagle was turning out to be not so mighty after all.

  “So, about those pigs I mentioned earlier. You see, a second boat arrived and caused me a great deal of suspicion, and . . . he’s walking out of the room!”

  Red, Chuck, and Bomb could not believe it. Mighty Eagle had just gotten up and left them alone! Maybe tracking down their hero and asking for his help wasn’t such a great idea.

  “I don’t get this,” Red said angrily. “This guy just sits here, all alone, and clearly doesn’t leave the house. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself!”

  “Sounds a lot like you,” Chuck said quietly.

  “Thank you for your opinion, Chuck,” said Red. But he realized that Chuck was probably right. Red got up from the sofa and went after Mighty Eagle. He found the older bird staring through a pair of binoculars at Bird Village way below them.

  “Hello, Mighty Eagle?” he said as he approached the big bird. “Listen . . . are you going to help us or not?”

  Mighty Eagle lowered the binoculars and looked at Red.

  “I am helping you!”

  “No, you’re not! You’re just singing dumb songs and telling dumb stories and looking through these,” Red said angrily as he grabbed the binoculars from Mighty Eagle.

  Red looked down at Bird Village with the binoculars. He couldn’t help but notice a massive tent in the middle of Bird Village. Where did that come from? Red took another look. Dozens of pigs were running in and out of the tent. Other pigs were handing out what looked like party invitations to all the birds, and some were zipping around Bird Village in their strange vehicles. When he looked closer, Red saw that the pigs were stacking boxes of TNT all around the village!

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Red said. This confirmed something he had suspected all along: the pigs were up to something, and it definitely wasn’t something good! Red trusted his instincts.

  “Oh my—I was right,” said Red, concern in his voice. “I knew it! Bomb! Chuck! Get out here, hurry!”

  Mighty Eagle looked through the binoculars at the tent and all the pigs and knew something bad was happening. “Uh-oh.”

  Chuck and Bomb joined Red and Mighty Eagle on the cliff, and Red was certain that he and his friends had to get back to the village as fast as possible. “Mighty Eagle, fly us down there, now!” he pleaded.

  “No,” said Mighty Eagle softly.

  “I’m sorry, what?!” asked Red, shocked.

  “I don’t do that anymore,” said Mighty Eagle sadly. “I’m retired. Mostly just tired. Go handle it yourselves. This is everything I’ve prepared you for.” He turned and started heading back into his cave.

  Red could not believe it. Mighty Eagle was abandoning them!

  “Prepared us for what? Our whole world—everyone we know—is in danger!”

  “Yes,” replied Mighty Eagle. “So off you go.”

  Red was fuming. “You know what? I used to believe in you. When I was a kid, I believed nothing bad could ever happen because you were here. But now I see that I was an idiot!”

  “I think it’s time for you to go,” said Mighty Eagle.

  “It’s really upsetting to me that you’re the only bird that can fly, and you’re too afraid to do it.” Red turned to Chuck and Bomb. “Come on, guys, let’s go. We’re done here.”

  The three frustrated and worried birds made their way back down the mountain. Mighty Eagle stood and watched them for a while. A small smile spread across his face. It was hard for him to let them go. But it had to be done.

  Meanwhile Red, Bomb, and Chuck ran down the mountain as fast as they could. They had an island to save!

  As Red, Chuck, and Bomb neared the bottom of the mountain, Bomb tripped on a branch and tumbled into Red. Then Red lost his balance and tumbled into Chuck. All three began bouncing and rolling down the mountainside in a big ball, until they finally landed with a crash in a bush at the bottom of the mountain.

  The three frien
ds untangled themselves and dusted one another off. They looked around Bird Village. All the birds on the island were partying underneath the big tent the pigs had put up while they were away. Music was blaring, and all the birds were dancing, laughing, and eating. The pigs were playing music and serving food.

  None of the birds noticed the boxes of TNT, and they definitely did not see the pigs hiding more of the TNT boxes under the party tent! The birds were too busy having fun.

  The pigs began to spread out into the village. They placed TNT in all the houses. They hid more boxes in every shop on Main Street. They moved quickly and left no spot of Bird Island untouched.

  Red, Chuck, and Bomb finally made their way through the village, where they discovered something awful. The pigs were stealing eggs from one of the nests next to a village hut. Everywhere they turned, they saw pigs stealing eggs from every nest in the village!

  “What’s happening?” shouted Red. “Follow them!”

  As they ran after the pigs, Red saw that the two ships the pigs had arrived on were already loaded full of eggs. The pigs were taking every last one of them! Red saw Leonard watching the eggs being loaded onto his ship and realized that this had been the shady pig’s plan all along. Not wanting to lose a single second, Red turned to Chuck.

  “Run back to the party and get the others—now hurry!”

  “I’m on it!” said Chuck as he took off at super-fast speed.

  “Bomb, we gotta stop them!” said Red as he and Bomb began to run toward the pigs’ ships. As they got nearer, one of the crates of TNT exploded nearby, and they had to duck for cover. When the smoke cleared, they saw that the ships were just about full and the pigs were preparing to sail away.

  “We gotta get the eggs off the ship!” shouted Red.

  In the meantime, Chuck sped into the party tent and tried to get the birds’ attention. They were so busy dancing and laughing, not a single bird had heard any of the explosions. Chuck raced to the stage in desperation and jumped up and down.

  “Can everybody please stop partying? The eggs are being stolen!”

  When that didn’t work, he spotted Matilda and ran up to her.

  “Matilda, the eggs are being stolen! We need your help!”

  “What?!” cried Matilda. “We have to do something!”

  They grabbed Judge Peckinpah and told him what was going on in the village and at the beach. Finally, the music was turned off, and Chuck told the crowd of birds about the pigs’ plot.

  “We have to get back to the beach! Stop dancing and start running!”

  As the pigs secured the last of the eggs on their ship, Leonard saw Red and Bomb running toward them.

  “Do we have them all?” he asked. “Get everyone on board. Let’s get out of here!”

  Red and Bomb were too far away from the ship to climb onto it. Then Red saw a few of the trampolines the pigs had left behind and got an idea.

  “Use the trampolines!” he shouted to Bomb. The two birds began hopping from one trampoline to another, getting closer and closer to Leonard’s ship. Finally, Bomb reached the platform the eggs were on, with Red following shortly after.

  “Untie the ropes and drop the eggs into the water,” shouted Red.

  Bomb pulled at the ropes, but they would not budge.

  “They’re too strong,” he said. “I can’t break them!”

  As Red saw Leonard order the pigs to get Bomb off the platform, he shouted to his friend. “Bomb! Blow up the rope!”

  Bomb focused and tried to get himself to explode. He knew that the safety of the eggs depended on him. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to detonate.

  “Come on, Bomb, you can do this!” Red said. “Come on, buddy, blow up!”

  “I’m trying!” shouted Bomb, but just as he was ready to explode, the pigs used water guns and doused his fuse. They pushed him and Red off the platform and into the water below.

  Leonard laughed at the wet birds as his ship sailed farther away.

  “Thanks for your hospitality!” he shouted at them, then turned to Ross. “Set sail for Piggy Island!”

  Red and Bomb swam back to shore. They met up with Chuck and the other birds, who had finally reached the beach. Everyone was shocked and sad. Red looked around and saw that the pigs had destroyed all of Bird Village! Every last house and business had been wrecked by the pigs’ TNT. Nothing was left but smoking ruins. Not only that, but all the eggs were gone!

  Judge Peckinpah walked over to Red. The judge hopped off of Cyrus and stood in front of Red at his normal height. Red had to look down at the judge, which made everything seem more serious.

  “Mr. Red,” he said sadly, “what do we do now?”

  Red was stunned. His mind was racing. Some of the birds had begun to cry. It took him a few moments to realize what Judge Peckinpah was asking him.

  “Wait,” said Red, surprised. “You’re actually asking me?”

  “You knew, and you tried to tell us,” the judge continued. “And we didn’t listen. I didn’t listen. What do we do?”

  Red paused again. All the birds were looking at him. They wanted his help. A part of him believed he was the last bird anyone should be looking to for answers. Still, Red knew what had to be done. He took a deep breath.

  “I’ll tell you what we’re going to do,” he said. “We’re going to get all the eggs back!”

  “How are we going to do that?” asked Matilda.

  “The pigs already showed us how,” Red explained. “They went back to their home, so that’s where we’re going.”

  “And how are we going to do that?” asked the judge.

  “We’re going to build our own boat,” said Red. “They stole your kids. No, they stole our kids! Who does that? And you know what? I’m a little bit angry about that. No, correction: I’m really angry! And I don’t think I’m the only one.

  “It’s time to get angry,” Red continued. “It’s time to stay angry together. We’re getting our kids back, and I don’t need any calm, happy birds. I need some Angry Birds! Now who’s with me?!”

  All the birds volunteered to join Red. He smiled. It felt good to work together with his fellow birds.

  “Good. Now let’s go get our kids back!”

  Red and the other birds quickly got to work on the boat they would use to sail to Piggy Island. Red oversaw the construction, with Chuck and Bomb helping where they could.

  “Bring me everything that floats,” Red instructed his fellow birds. They were all gathering up the pieces of their destroyed village to be used as parts for the boat. One of the pigs’ slingshots worked well as a mast. Red smiled as a bunch of the pigs’ banners were turned into sails. Everyone was lending a wing, so the ship took shape in no time at all.

  When the boat was finished, Red stepped back and took a good look at it. It wasn’t as big as the pigs’ boat, but everyone would fit on board, and they could even bring a slingshot. Red realized it might come in handy once they tracked down the pigs.

  All in all, he was impressed. Red felt proud that the birds realized he had been right about the pigs. But he was prouder of their work on the boat and how everyone was pitching in. It felt good to be part of a team, Red thought.

  “It’s darn good for a bunch of birds,” he said, and then climbed onto the boat. “Let’s go get our kids back, guys!”

  Minutes later, Red, Chuck, Bomb, and all the other birds were sailing toward Piggy Island. As they got closer, a gray mist enveloped the boat. Through the mist the birds could see the wreckage of previous boats the pigs must have used when sailing from their island. They were all in pieces and looked like they had been abandoned for a long time. No one uttered a peep as they passed the wrecked boats.

  Sometime later, the boat hit the shore of Piggy Island. Red was the first to hop off. He looked at all the nervous birds on the raft. He knew he had to take charge.

  “Are you guys ready?” Red shouted. The rest of the birds roared in agreement. “Then let’s go!” Red and the other Angry Birds ra
n up a hill that led to Pig City. When they got to the top, they could see Pig City below—and it was enormous! The streets were filled with houses, stores, restaurants, and food stands. The wobbly wood buildings were connected by walkways. Some structures had huge boulders on top of them, and they looked like they might collapse at any minute! Yet everything stayed upright. The birds had never seen anything like it.

  Searching the city for any sign of where the eggs were being held, Red spotted a large building where there was an enormous poster of Leonard holding some of the eggs. It looked like a castle. Red realized that that must be where Leonard was, and where the eggs were being kept!

  “Wow. That thing is huge,” said Chuck.

  Bomb nodded his agreement. “You could fit, like, a thousand Terences in there!”

  “And that’s exactly where we’re going,” said Red.

  Matilda approached the friends and looked out at Pig City.

  “Do you guys remember everything you learned in my class?”

  “Yup,” said Red.

  “Nope,” said Chuck.

  At the same time Bomb asked, “What class?”

  Matilda shook her head. “Forget all of it for now. It’s time to let loose!”

  “Oh good,” said Red. “Because I never learned anything anyway.”

  “Me neither,” agreed Chuck. “I just came to socialize.”

  “I just came for the snacks,” said Bomb.

  Matilda fumed, then looked at the castle.

  “How are we going to get over there?” she asked.

  Red thought for a minute, then the perfect answer hit him.

  “I’ll tell you how. We’re going to fly,” he said.

  Stella knew exactly what he meant. “We’re going to use the slingshot!” she shouted.

  Terence used all his strength to plant the slingshot in the ground while Red addressed the birds.

  “Remember, the goal is to get to the castle. That’s where the eggs are!” Red instructed. “Who wants to go first?”