The Angry Birds Movie Page 3

  “C’mon, let’s go. And remember—keep it quiet! I don’t want the pigs alerted. I just know they’re up to no good.”

  Chuck started zipping around the deck in a yellow blur.

  “Whoa, this is an impressive ship!” Chuck said loudly.

  Red held a wing to his beak to quiet Chuck.

  “Inside voice!” he whispered. “Come on. . . .” He motioned Chuck and Bomb inside.

  The three birds began searching the ship, opening any closed doors they encountered along the way. One room was filled with trampolines just like the one the pigs gave to the birds. They kept exploring.

  Chuck pulled a curtain open. Behind it were several strange-looking vehicles. The birds could not make sense of these machines, so they moved on.

  Next Red opened another door. Inside was a massive closet where dozens and dozens of brightly-colored cowboy outfits hung in rows. There were cowboy hats, boots, and bandanas on the shelves.

  Red scratched his head. “Who are these weirdos?” he asked. Not only were these pigs probably up to something, they were also downright strange.

  Red and Chuck heard laughter coming from another room. They followed the noise and found Bomb inside. He was jumping up and down on some trampolines. Red tried to get him to stop, but Bomb broke through a trampoline and went crashing through the floor!

  Red and Chuck peered over the edge of the hole Bomb had made to see where their friend had gone. Bomb had landed in another room below. But he wasn’t alone. The room was filled with pigs. Dozens and dozens of pigs. As Red, Chuck, and Bomb looked at one another in surprise, one of the pigs giggled and said, “We were hiding!”

  By the time Red, Chuck, and Bomb returned to the banquet hall, the party was still going strong. The three friends brought the pigs, now dressed in their cowboy outfits, with them. Red was determined to get to the bottom of who these pigs were and what they wanted from the birds. But the noisy partygoers were too busy singing and dancing. Red looked around and climbed on top of the head table to get their attention.

  “Hey! Everyone! Everyone! There’s more of them!” Red yelled as he pointed to the pigs he, Chuck, and Bomb had brought to the party.

  The startled birds stopped singing and dancing, and then looked at Red and the newly-arrived pigs in surprise.

  “That’s right,” Red continued. “I’m back. Enjoying the party? Because while you were living it up, I snuck onto their ship!”

  The judge looked at Red in shock. “You did what?!”

  “And look what I found! There are more of them than we thought. That’s mysterious and weird, am I right?” Red pointed at Leonard. “He said there were only two pigs on board, but he was obviously lying.”

  As the birds turned to look at Leonard, Red paused. He knew the birds were finally listening to him.

  “And there are strange devices on their boat, so clearly there’s, you know . . . stuff going on. I don’t know what stuff, but stuff. Any questions?”

  Judge Peckinpah looked shocked. “You snuck onto their ship?”

  “I don’t need a reward, if you’re trying to figure out what honor to bestow on me. I don’t need anything.” He was feeling satisfied that now the other birds would finally see that the pigs were weird and not to be trusted.

  As the birds began to boo loudly, Red kept talking.

  “Yeah, boo them! That’s right! Wait . . . are you booing them or me?!”

  Leonard raised a hoof to silence the crowd.

  “Perhaps I can explain,” he began, pointing at the pigs. “My cousins are simple folk. They don’t even know the alphabet! They just want to perform. I didn’t want to risk their lives until I found out if you were all friendly and this was a safe space.” Leonard looked at his fellow pigs in their cowboy outfits. “We were going to put on a cowboy show for you, but perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. It is not yet time.”

  As the birds stared in wonder at Leonard, the bearded pig finished his speech.

  “I believe that birds and pigs are meant to be friends, but if we crossed boundaries that we shouldn’t have . . .”

  Leonard choked up before he could finish his thought and then began to cry. The birds all turned and glared at Red. Judge Peckinpah marched up to him and waved a wing in Red’s face.

  “You’ve shamed not only yourself,” he said coldly, “but our entire community.”

  “Wait,” said Red. “I think you mean ‘saved,’ not ‘shamed,’ right?”

  “I sent you to treatment to deal with your problems,” said the judge. “Clearly more treatment is required!”

  “No!” shouted Red and Matilda at the same time.

  “Do not trouble our honored guests again!” yelled the judge. He turned to Leonard and put his wing around the pig.

  “My friend, we would love to see your cowboy show!”

  “Thank you,” choked Leonard through his tears. “Thank you so much!”

  Judge Peckinpah and the other birds turned away from Red. They rejoined the party with the pigs who had returned to the stage. They had put on their cowboy outfits and were ready to start the show! The entire village, aside from Chuck and Bomb, had turned their backs on Red.

  “Whatever, don’t listen to me!” he shouted.

  Red got his wish—none of the birds were listening to him. This made Red even angrier than he’d been before. Why couldn’t they see the same thing that he did? Something was up with these pigs. He was going to get to the bottom of this mystery . . . before something bad happened.

  The next morning, Red was grouchier than usual. He’d gotten a terrible night’s sleep. His damaged hut gave him no privacy or peace and quiet. All he heard were the happy sounds coming from the cowboy show that had gone on for hours.

  Over the next few days, Red noticed that the pigs were taking over Bird Village. Some pigs were teaching the birds how to jump on the trampolines. Other pigs were putting on music shows. And, worst of all, there were pigs lying in the sun, playing volleyball, and swimming on the beach next to his hut!

  There were pigs everywhere Red looked. He could not go anywhere without seeing the pigs taking photos of all the places and things on Bird Island. Red noticed a lot of the pictures were of eggs in nests, as well as eggs used in signs and illustrations.

  That’s weird, thought Red. These pigs seem obsessed with eggs! What’s so special about ordinary birds’ eggs?

  Red wanted to bring it up at Anger-management Training class. But he saw how much the birds and pigs were having fun and getting along, and he knew that it would do no good.

  Matilda had the class painting by the beach that afternoon, in a lesson she called “Paint Your Pain.” Red, Chuck, Bomb, and Terence were standing in front of easels, each working on his own canvas. Matilda stood in front of the birds and encouraged them as they painted.

  “That’s it, class. Feel your pain. Let it out through every brushstroke!” She began walking around each of the birds as they painted. “Thought for the day: water is the softest thing, yet it can penetrate mountains and earth.”

  Red rolled his eyes. “Here’s my thought for the day,” he said. “When are we done?”

  Matilda sighed. “Red, what the caterpillar calls the end, the world calls a butterfly.”

  “Can I just say that I never understand a single thing you’re talking about?” Red shot back. He slapped more paint on his canvas.

  Matilda ignored him and stood next to Chuck, who was zooming back and forth in front of his canvas. Matilda saw that Chuck was painting himself as a muscled, heroic bird and smiled.

  “Wow, Chuck, that’s very lifelike.”

  “What can I say,” answered Chuck. “I paint what I see!”

  Matilda moved on to Bomb. He had splashed and splattered lots of paint on his canvas—and himself—in a messy explosion. He looked very proud of his painting.

  “It’s very abstract,” said Bomb.

  “Okay, yeah,” said Matilda, and turned to Terence. “Okay, Terence, let’s see your painting
!”

  If Bomb’s had been surprising, Matilda couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw Terence’s painting. He had painted himself and Matilda touching wings in a very dramatic pose. He grunted his approval as Matilda continued staring.

  “Wow, Terence, I did not know you felt that way.” Matilda began blushing, then addressed the class. “I think that’s probably enough for today. Class dismissed!”

  As Red and the others began gathering their things, they saw Stella giving Leonard and some of the pigs a detailed tour on the beach. Judge Peckinpah was standing proudly next to Leonard as Stella recited some facts about the island. Leonard looked bored.

  Then Red noticed a change in the big pig. Leonard perked up when he spotted a large bird’s egg in a nearby nest. Red said good-bye to Chuck and Bomb and followed the other birds on their tour.

  “Is that what I think it is?” asked Leonard excitedly as he ran toward the nest.

  “That’s an egg,” said Stella. “You guys don’t lay eggs?”

  Leonard sighed but did not tear his gaze away from the egg. “I wish we did,” he said. He picked up the egg and squeezed it to his chest.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy! That is fragile. Maybe you shouldn’t pick it up, especially as it isn’t yours!” Red said.

  “Oh, my friend from the banquet,” said Leonard, although he sounded like he thought of Red as anything but a friend. Leonard then looked at the painting Red had been working on, and his eyes widened. “Well, now that’s a very good painting.”

  Red pointed to his canvas. On it he had painted Leonard getting struck by lightning! “Oh yeah, the assignment was to paint your pain, so I painted your pain. I, uh, didn’t actually think you were going to see it.”

  “Wonderful likeness,” snorted Leonard. He turned to Stella. “I thought you said you stored your nuts for winter,” he said, and began to laugh.

  Red was just about to launch another insult at Leonard, but something stopped him in his tracks. He looked out to sea and saw another ship. It was full of pigs and heading right for Bird Island. Even more pigs were coming!

  “All right, what’s going on here?” shouted Red. “Are you explorers, or are you staying? Why are there more of you coming?!”

  As Red watched in horror, the second pig ship crashed into the first one, which destroyed Red’s hut even more!

  “No! Not my house again! That’s my home!”

  Judge Peckinpah pulled Red aside. “You’re making our guests feel unwelcome!”

  “And you’re not asking basic questions,” replied Red.

  “Maybe I wasn’t clear enough,” Judge Peckinpah sputtered. “Your opinion is not needed. Stay out of this and stay away from our guests!”

  As Stella and the birds guided Leonard to the beach to greet the new boatful of pigs, Red stomped away. He walked back into the village and toward Bird Court and the statue of Mighty Eagle. Right now he needed help. Who better to soothe his feathers than Bird Island’s greatest hero and protector?

  “We could really use you right about now,” Red said, staring up at the statue. He sat down at the base of the statue. Suddenly he got an idea about just what to do. But first he needed Chuck’s and Bomb’s help!

  Red headed straight to Chuck’s house, which was at the top of a very tall tree. He pulled on a rope that had a bell tied to it, which served as Chuck’s doorbell.

  “Hey, Chuck, it’s Red,” he shouted. “Zip on down here!”

  Just as Red finished his sentence, there was a blur of yellow, and suddenly Chuck was standing next to Red. He had a mud mask on his face and was sipping a cup of coffee. Red was surprised.

  “What’s up?” asked Chuck.

  “I . . . um . . . have an idea, but I need to talk to Bomb as well. Want to come along?” said Red.

  “Okay,” said Chuck. He zipped back up his tree. A split second later he zipped down again, his coffee cup and face mask gone. He was ready.

  “Uh, hey, Chuck. What’s the deal with the mud mask?” said Red.

  “All this does not just happen on its own!” replied Chuck, pointing to his face and body.

  They walked to Bomb’s hut and knocked on the door. A second later they heard an explosion from within and saw smoke pour out of the windows. Bomb opened the door wrapped in a towel, his feathers still smoking. He looked embarrassed.

  “Oh, hey, guys,” he said sheepishly. “I was just taking a shower.”

  “Bomb, buddy, TMI,” said Red. “But listen, I have an idea. Come with me.”

  As Red, Chuck, and Bomb watched the pigs setting up several mysterious construction sites all over Bird Village, Red revealed his idea.

  “There’s something going on here, and it’s up to us to figure it out. Right?”

  “Figure out what, exactly?” asked Chuck. He was confused.

  As Bomb watched many pigs installing zip lines and nets in several trees, he started to get the feeling Red was right. “It does seem a little odd.”

  “I’ll tell you this,” said Red emphatically, “if anyone knows what these pigs are up to, it’s Mighty Eagle.”

  Both Chuck’s and Bomb’s eyes widened when Red mentioned Mighty Eagle, the legend and hero of Bird Island. Every bird knew all about Mighty Eagle, and every bird had nothing but awe and respect for the noble bird.

  “Where does he even live?” asked Chuck.

  “By the Lake of Wisdom,” responded Bomb in hushed tones. “In the Ancient Tree.”

  “But that’s a fairy tale,” Chuck said. “I’ve been all over this island. Where could it possibly be?”

  Red pointed to the giant mountain that rose up in the center of Bird Island and smiled. “Way up high.”

  Chuck and Bomb turned to look at the mountain, as Red continued. “It’s a long way up that mountain, and if I’m being honest, well . . . I could use your help.”

  Chuck looked at Red. Was he actually asking them for help?

  “What’s that? What are you trying to say?” Chuck asked. He knew Red was regretting his earlier behavior toward them, and Chuck was savoring the moment.

  “I was just saying that I could . . . I could use your help.”

  “I’m sorry; I couldn’t quite hear you over your ego. Could you enunciate that last word a little bit?”

  “I need your help!” shouted Red.

  “Oh, why didn’t you say so? Bomb?”

  Bomb smiled at Red and Chuck.

  “Let’s do it! Let’s go find Mighty Eagle!”

  Red, Chuck, and Bomb huffed and puffed through dense jungle, waded through sticky swamps, and climbed up sheer cliffs. The trek was tough, but they just kept going. All three birds were excited and nervous about reaching Mighty Eagle’s home. As they climbed, Chuck and Bomb talked about Mighty Eagle’s legend. Red tried to stay focused on what he would say once they found his hero.

  “If there is a Mighty Eagle, how come we don’t ever hear his battle cry?” asked Chuck.

  “I don’t know,” said Red wearily.

  “Maybe we have heard it!” added Bomb thoughtfully.

  “What would it sound like, do you think?” Chuck wondered. “Something like this? EEH EEH EEH!”

  “No, I bet it’s more like a CAW CAW CAW!” said Bomb. “That’s theoretically more what it’s like, scientifically.”

  “Nah,” said Chuck. “I’m thinking maybe it’s a little more subtle, a bit more majestic, like SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

  Red had kept quiet for hours, but he’d reached his limit. “Stop making Mighty Eagle noises!” he shouted.

  “Someone has anger issues,” Chuck whispered to Bomb.

  Finally, they reached the top of the mountain. The trio couldn’t wait to see Mighty Eagle’s home. But instead of a home, they saw Mighty Eagle’s mountain in the distance!

  Chuck choked back tears. “This . . . this is the wrong mountain!”

  “We have to go back down and climb the right one,” said Bomb, feeling discouraged.

  “My calves are killing me,” s
aid Red with a sigh.

  All three birds took a deep breath, then began climbing down the mountain they had just finished ascending.

  Many hours later, Red, Chuck, and Bomb finally reached Mighty Eagle’s mountain and began climbing. Day turned to evening, then night came and went before Red, Chuck, and Bomb reached the mountaintop. They pulled themselves up and rested to catch their breaths. After a few seconds, they looked around and saw a clear blue lake. A beautiful twisted tree rested on the shore of the lake. It was all very calm and relaxing, and the three birds could not believe they had finally made it to Mighty Eagle’s home!

  “Wow,” said Red as he gazed at the scene before him.

  “The Lake of Wisdom!” exclaimed Chuck as he stared into the water. He took a deep sip, and Bomb joined him. Since they were very young, the three friends—along with every other hatchling on Bird Island—had learned all about Mighty Eagle. His daring adventures. His heroic rescues. His commitment to everything fair and just. Seeing the legendary Lake of Wisdom was amazing.

  “Be honest,” said Bomb. “Do I sound any wiser?”

  “Oh, way wiser,” agreed Chuck.

  Red climbed up the tree and saw an abandoned nest toward the top. It looked like it had not been used in a long, long time. He began to get worried.

  “Guys, nobody’s here. Nobody’s used this place in years,” he said. He noticed Chuck and Bomb swimming in the lake. They were swimming, splashing, drinking, and playing in the water. Red felt it was rude to play in the sacred lake.

  “What are you doing?” he asked. “Get out of there!”

  All three birds paused as they heard a booming echo in the cave that lay above the lake, and Red began to panic.

  “Get out! Let’s go! C’mon! We should hide!” he warned.

  Chuck and Bomb joined Red behind a large rock. They watched as heavy footsteps cut through the still morning air. A large figure emerged from the cave and stood at its entrance. It was Mighty Eagle himself! Red, Chuck, and Bomb couldn’t believe it. It was really him!